I don\u2019t want to burst anyone\u2019s bubble, here\u2026 so if you believe in haunted \u201cLost Episode\u201d legends and enjoy living in that world, maybe this isn\u2019t the post for you.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me wrong \u2013 I hate when people complain about \u201clack of realism\u201d in entertainment, and I think all kids need to believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy for as long as possible, but\u2026 this is different.<\/p>\n
Back in the 80s I met this dude, Sid, who used to cut old VHS tapes and shit. It was more than a hobby for him \u2013 it was pretty much his entire life. His parents were a bit more wealthy than I\u2019d been blessed with, so when we were teenagers and I was slaving away at a\u201dSkats\u201d (Yes, Skats) fast food restaurant, he just hung out around the house, cutting tapes. All day. All night.<\/p>\n
Of course, as you get older things in your past become a bit clearer and I think he might\u2019ve been borderline Autistic\u2026 or maybe he was a very high-functioning person with Asperger\u2019s\u2026 but of course I\u2019m no expert and I\u2019m not saying that was the case. It\u2019s just the best and quickest way I can think of to explain his personality and this obession with cutting tapes, cutting tapes, cutting tapes.<\/p>\n
It started when he saw \u201cOld Yeller\u201d as a little kid. For whatever reason, his parents let him watch that shit. If you\u2019re unfamiliar with it, it\u2019s the tale of a boy and his dog. I hope I don\u2019t have to announce the spoiler on such an old-ass movie, but in the end the boy has to shoot his own dog because it\u2019s rabid.<\/p>\n
Sid didn\u2019t appreciate this. His dad photographed and video-taped weddings, so he showed Sid how to operate some of the machines\u2026 and Sid cut out the ending, replacing it with an earlier, happier scene as if Old Yeller just suddenly \u201cgot better\u201d offscreen.<\/p>\n
He watched the tape obsessively after that, even into his early teens when I\u2019d first met him. He made me watch it once to show how he \u201cfixed\u201d it, and I could actually picture him as a little boy once he started applauding and cheering his own faux-ending.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to say I was a bad influence, but after I saw it I asked if he could to that with other movies.<\/p>\n
My major interest was perhaps taking a film or two and cutting in some nude frames the actresses hadn\u2019t really done\u2026 Don\u2019t worry, though. I never had the guts to actually ask if he would. I just imagined how cool it would be. Often.<\/p>\n
Sid told me that, yes, he could \u201cfix\u201d any movie he wanted. In fact, he had done it with a few others. He had a copy of a Ghost Busters cartoon and \u2013 I shit you not \u2013 every single ghost was completely removed. The story made no sense, there was no continuity, but he had accomplished it and I was very impressed.<\/p>\n
I guess in the time of VHS, these things seemed more magical than they do nowadays.<\/p>\n
As time went by, I encouraged Sid to edit more movies, but with different purposes. Instead of whitewashing all the scary stuff like he\u2019d wanted to do, I got him to \u201csee the light\u201d on how awesome he could make things.<\/p>\n
Somewhere out there, this chubby Star Wars nerd from our highschool has all three original films flawlessly cut together, with edited-in effects that would\u2019ve made George Lucas himself cry out: \u201cEnough meddling!!\u201d<\/p>\n
We charged him like twenty dollars for the only copy, because we were idiots.<\/p>\n
Anyway, this went on for a while before I lost most of my interest in it. It was more of a goof for me than it was for him. This is the point where I started working, started driving, started taking bases with local girls\u2026 while he just got more and more involved in cutting those tapes.<\/p>\n
I think his favorites were cartoons. When The Simpsons came around, he went ape shit with those. Now his edits weren\u2019t so much fixing things as just breaking them in interesting ways. Another thing that sticks out in my mind is when he recorded an episode of M*A*S*H and cut it with a gory old war flick. Halfway through his version, the camp gets bombed\u2026 soldiers invade\u2026 everyone dies. At the end, he specifically worked in freeze-frames of each cast member\u2019s face. Eyes closed.<\/p>\n
He had completely reversed his interests and embraced what had once terrified him\u2026 scary endings. He seemed to love things like long, drawn-out sequences in terrifying silence. He\u2019d make me be quiet while they played, too.<\/p>\n
You may have heard about this mysterious fellow named Banksy who goes around creating interesting graffiti and whatnot. At one point, he went into a music store and replaced some Paris Hilton CDs with his own fakes.<\/p>\n
Banksy had nothing on Sid. Every other week, he\u2019d tell me about some store or a video rental place he\u2019d snuck some of his tapes into. He swapped out the real ones for his versions, and then he\u2019d start all over by cutting the ones he had stolen.<\/p>\n
At one point, when I hadn\u2019t heard from him in a long while, I stopped by his parents\u2019 house and found him in the garage. He\u2019d set up his own little movie studio there, complete with a drawing board.<\/p>\n
He was actually animating entirely new content.<\/p>\n
All at once, I was both blown away by his artistic skill I\u2019d never seen before\u2026 and very concerned about when this guy was going to come out of the dark and start acting \u201cnormal\u201d like me.<\/p>\n
He barely looked up from his drawings as we spoke. I asked him what any kid, now in his late teens, would ask\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat the fuck is wrong with you?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHm?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSeriously, dude. This is some crazy shit.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s work. I\u2019m working. My work is just as important as anyone else\u2019s.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAre you even selling these anymore, or are you just sneaking them into places? How much is all of this costing your Dad?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t care.\u201d<\/p>\n
I looked at what he was so fervently illustrating.<\/p>\n
\u201cIs that a headless body? Dancing?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYeah.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s pretty dark, man.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI know. That\u2019s the point.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThose tapes. I thought they were wrong, but over time I figured out the truth.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhich is\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe scary stuff is right. The happy endings are the lie.\u201d<\/p>\n
He just kept drawing as I stood there. The silence was disturbing, and in that moment I could smell the B.O. coming off of him. It wasn\u2019t just sweat, either. It was a mingling of that and a foul ass and piss-soaked cloth.<\/p>\n
I hate to say it, but I gave up on him right then. It\u2019s that moment when you look at someone\u2026 someone you thought you knew\u2026 and all that you can think is\u2026 \u201cHoly shit, I never realized they were this far gone.\u201d<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t until I was in my 30s that Sid crossed my mind again. I was purusing the internet, just aimlessly wandering the web, when I came across a series of \u201curban legends\u201d about strange VHS tapes, re-cut movies, and lost episodes.<\/p>\n
Some of these I recognized. I\u2019d watched them with Sid, or I\u2019d actually seen him in the middle of working on them. Every disturbing scene, every unbelievable anecdote\u2026 I believed it, because I had been there.<\/p>\n
Others\u2026 Spongebob cartoons, episodes of iCarly or whatever, those shows came long after I\u2019d made my break with Sid, but the style was all too familiar. Even the ones that didn\u2019t sound like his work seemed like they could\u2019ve been broken copies or attempts at mimicing his work.<\/p>\n
He was still doing it. My God, it boggled my mind.<\/p>\n
I called up Sid\u2019s old number, not entirely sure I\u2019d still find him there. It rang for minutes on end, and I knew that the search was hopeless. Even if he still lived with his parents, it wasn\u2019t likely they\u2019d all still be at the same house by now.<\/p>\n
Still\u2026<\/p>\n
I made it a point to drive out to his old place\u2026 to see if he was still in that garage, cutting tapes, or manipulating them via computer, or whatever he would be up to. When I passed by the house, the unkempt lawn was overgrown with huge, waist-high weeds. The dilapidated facade of the building, with its peeling paint on the shutters, missing roof tiles, and muck-filled gutters told me no one had lived here for a long time.<\/p>\n
I saw a note on the door, but couldn\u2019t read it from the road. Maybe it was something I could use to locate Sid and see if he\u2019d ever gotten the help I now realized I should have given him.<\/p>\n
Pulling into the driveway, my headlights illuminated the garage door. It was windowless and vandalized with the gangster tags of some traveling band of assholes.<\/p>\n
The note on the door, as one might expect, spoke of a certain bank now owning the property. It noted that trespassing was heavily discouraged, and that at a certain point someone would be out to make sure the house was \u201cwinterized\u201d. Whatever the Hell that is.<\/p>\n
As I walked back to the car, defeated, something was nagging at me. I knew that Sid\u2019s parents kept a spare key under a false rock by the back stairs, basically by virture of Sid locking us both out on several occasions.<\/p>\n
When I found that key, a sense of cold, gnawing dread swirled in my stomach.<\/p>\n
Who would move out and leave everything in place like this? The key was the most obvious thing, but flower pots and lawn decorations were still there. Sid\u2019s old, rusted-out Huffy bike was leaning against the house, and had created thick rusty streaks along the aluminum siding.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t even know what I expected to find, but using the key, I entered the house.<\/p>\n
The smell was overwhelming.<\/p>\n
Not a putrid smell, nothing rotten or decaying\u2026 just the smell of\u2026 I don\u2019t know if this would make any sense to you, but\u2026 the smell of electricity. Like burning dust on a lightbulb or a heater giving off a peculiar warmed metal odor.<\/p>\n
That was the least of my concerns, however, as I saw everything just as I had left it. Everything Sid\u2019s family owned was frozen in time. The dining room table we\u2019d all sat at on many occasions was dust-covered and supported an emiaciated dead rat which had all but turned to dust.<\/p>\n
The television\u2026 that bulky, oversized television set we\u2019d all sat around to watch Sid\u2019s tapes and laud his creativity\u2026 it sat where it always had been, silently displaying a violent bombardment of black and white static.<\/p>\n
As I moved through the rooms, the sense of panic and discomfort within me only grew. Every fiber of my being was shouting RUN\u2026 RUN, you fucking idiot!<\/p>\n
Still, I pressed on into Sid\u2019s bedroom. It was now empty and in disrepair, his prized action figures and blank video tapes\u2026 hundreds of video tapes\u2026 stale and water damaged.<\/p>\n
I almost wanted to call out\u2026 to shout \u201cSid!\u201d and wait for him to appear as if nothing was out of the ordinary.<\/p>\n
I went into his parents\u2019 bedroom.<\/p>\n
There, lying in bed, were two motionless bodies. Gaunt. Gray. Half turned to dust, just like the rat in the dining room.<\/p>\n
I could scarcely believe what I was seeing with my own eyes. Not only were two dead bodies slowly dissipating within the confines of this once idillic suburban household\u2026 but nobody had even checked on them. Nobody had discovered this until now.<\/p>\n
My mind raced. My heart raced. The only things that wouldn\u2019t move were my feet, which remained glued to the spot.<\/p>\n
Sid, I thought, must have done this. There was no way the two of them would just lie down one night and simultaniously DIE of natural causes! Sid had said he didn\u2019t care about his parents, and\u2026<\/p>\n
When was the last time I had seen them? God, I hadn\u2019t seen them for days, maybe weeks BEFORE the last time I talked to Sid\u2026<\/p>\n
When I finally left the room, I took out my cell phone and began dialing 911. However, as soon as I lifted it to my head, an ear-splitting shriek of interference nearly caused me to fling the object across the room.<\/p>\n
I rushed to the kitchen phone. Squealing static.<\/p>\n
I tried the living room phone just to be thorough. Static.<\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t until I put the reciever back down that I heard it. Music. Faint, barely audible music that I hadn\u2019t noticed before. It seemed to be some repeating melody\u2026 happy and light\u2026 some flutes, maybe a whole horn section.<\/p>\n
I followed the peppy tune to the in-house door to the garage. Pressing my ear to the door\u2019s dirty surface, I determined that the music was indeed coming from just beyond.<\/p>\n
\u201cSid?\u201d I called out, barely managing to form the name with cold, bloodless lips, \u201cSid, are you in there? Are you alright?\u201d<\/p>\n
I tried the door only to find it somehow locked from the other side. It was no matter, since one wild kick nearly knocked the rotting wood off its hinges.<\/p>\n
\u201cSID?\u201d I shouted as the dust slowly cleared.<\/p>\n
Through the haze, I could only see the light of a television screen. Vibrant colors. Blue, green, yellow\u2026<\/p>\n
Soon, I could make out a cartoon playing on the screen. Then, the silver wires running from the set itself to some dark mass. Then, the dark mass took shape as my eyes adjusted to the odd lighting.<\/p>\n
It was Sid\u2026 or rather, his body\u2026 not dead nearly as long as his parents, seated in an old office chair. The wires from the television set lead directly to his body, eventually disappearing into several old, crusted-over holes in his leathery flesh. Through a small worm-eaten opening in his ribs, I thought I could see more metal inside of him.<\/p>\n
I walked to Sid\u2019s side, holding my hand over my mouth for fear of vomiting. His face was twisted into a hideous, wide grin\u2026 his empty eye sockets almost seemed happy, hooded by a pleased brow line.<\/p>\n
\u201cHi there!\u201d I heard a jarring voice.<\/p>\n
The voice was upbeat. High-pitched. It sounded almost like Sid, but\u2026 different. Bubbly, cartoony.<\/p>\n
I turned to the screen. The green grass, the blue sky, the yellow flowers\u2026 and Sid. A perfect caricature of him. It strolled along the infinite loop of that utopian cartoon background.<\/p>\n
It waved to me.<\/p>\n
\u201cSid\u2026\u201d I whispered, \u201cOh God, Sid\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
He\u2026 the cartoon version of him\u2026 turned his attention away from me and continued to merrily stroll across that unending cycle of the same backdrop. He passed a shrub\u2026 then passed it again\u2026 and again\u2026 The same bluebird, chirping happily, flew through the sky in a figure eight.<\/p>\n
\u201cSid\u2026\u201d I shook my head, unable to comprehend the scenerio, \u201cI never should have let you leave reality.\u201d<\/p>\n
I thought about what Sid had done to his Mom and Dad. I thought about how the bank would come by soon and this would all come to light. I watched Sid walk along for nearly a half hour.<\/p>\n
Then I unplugged the set.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don\u2019t want to burst anyone\u2019s bubble, here\u2026 so if you believe in haunted \u201cLost Episode\u201d legends and<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":289,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[15,29,16,24,28,23],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=66"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":68,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/66\/revisions\/68"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/289"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=66"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=66"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ehorror.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=66"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}